A house full of funky children

By 25 Jul ’05Family life

And I don’t mean cool-funky. I mean stank-funky. Like, don’t warsh yo’ ass funky. WTH is the issue with children that they can’t stand to bathe? I remember being that age and being so worried that I might smell. I carried deoderant in my bookbag and gave myself a little wipedown after outdoor lunch. My cousins—let’s let them remain nameless—are 11, 13, and 14 and they have no problem smelling like a package of spoiled meat. How can they stand to be alone with themselves, much less all holed up with each other?

Now, I’ve been known to skip a shower or two over the weekend… when I’m in my house, by myself, not going anywhere. I surely will not cross the threshold of my home smelling like a wet dog. These kids really feel like it’s alright to take a 45-second shower and roll the f%@# out!! I’m not one to tell somebody else’s kid they stank… BUT you can be sure that if I were the one driving them hither and thither, they would sit their stinking selves in this house—actually, outside this house—until they could wash and meet some kind of standard of cleanliness.

Damn!

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