We put the AHHHH! in assault

By 5 Aug ’05Art & Design, Products

“When the picture came up, a pain shot through my groin. And I don’t even have a penis.”
~ Mama

This may be the most painful device I’ve ever seen in my life. Yet it looks oddly like a Mac peripheral.

Now, I know I read a few weeks ago that a South African inventress has already come up with this, but I truly don’t know which came first. I suppose the idea of an anti-rape device isn’t really new in theory, it just hadn’t been produced and sold yet. Either way, I’m seeing how this could be both a great and horrible idea.

I think Sonette Ehlers’ version is a bit more humane (considering we’re talking about rapists here), while the Swedish version would be safer for the wearer (he can’t hit/shoot/stab you and try to hold his package together at the same time), but I’m just waiting for the first news report of some woman donning such a device just to be an ass and get back at her husband/boyfriend for cheating or leaving the toilet seat up. Yeah, I said it: some women are just assholes. That being said, I’d still buy one and I don’t think they should be banned from the market, but I think the likelihood of misuse is kinda large. In which case, I vote for the model developed by my Afrikan sista. Also, I would think that there would be an awful lot of potentially-VD-infested blood released into one’s cooch with that second one. We don’t want any of that.

I’m dissapointed that there are activists—especially females—in South Africa condemning women for taking bold, direct action to defend themselves. If Charlene Smith were one of the women who knows that the police and governement are not going to take her rape seriously, I doubt that she would be so quick to cast stones. Educating potential rapists? Yeah, I’m sure that there are some men out there who are simply ignorant to the fact that forcing themselves on women is unnacceptable and disgusting behavior.

I am continually saddened and confused about the poor state of womanhood all over the world. I mean, is there anyplace where we get a break? I can’t think of a single present-day culture that at its’ core values women as equals to men in terms of basic human rights. Which is interesting, considering what we now know scientifically of mitochondrial DNA and the human embryonic development. Oh, you don’t know? Well let me tell you.

There are certain DNA markers that are only passed through ovum, meaning that while your DNA is a mixture from four different grandparents, it’s still almost identical to your maternal grandmother’s. Thus you have the theory (which I think has been proven as fact now) of the Mitochondrial Eve: the most recent common human ancestor. Male (Y-chromosome) DNA inheritance can’t be traced very far at all.

And I learned this yesterday: everyone is female at conception (that’s why men have nipples!) Sperm-contributed sex chromosomes don’t kick into gear until several weeks after conception, so in the meantime a fetus develops based on the mother’s X-chromosome. After a while the other one starts operating and finishes the sexing of the fetus-baby… ever notice that male and female sex organs are physiologically similar? But we’re all female to begin with. Maybe that’s why men are so mean; they hate their inner femininity? I don’t know, but that might make a good psychology study.

Maybe I should switch to Anthropology.

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