How I almost became a statistic.

So Cam’ron was shot early yesterday morning in a carjacking attempt, probably around the same time that I was standing in line at F.U.R. for the Kappa party that no Nupes were getting into but otherwise enjoying Club Parking Lot in the 40° cold. And a good thing, too, because I was definitely in the car with part of the Dipset hype squad earlier that night getting set up for a bustdown. Allow me to explain.

So I’m on my way to the step show (which is at the Armory) and I’m taking the Metro since none of my girls are going. So this lady walks in, who I assume is an AKA because she’s in a pink and green outfit (and what grown woman would go to the stepshow in a pink and green outfit and not be a soror, right?) trying to sell a stepshow ticket. I’m like, nah, I’m thinking about getting rid of mine myself (since it was rainy and cold and I’m lazy) and she’s like, well how are you getting there? And I’m like, I’m taking the Metro. And she’s like, well I’ll go ahead and go and give you a ride if you know how to get there. So I’m like, sounds like a decent plan and go upstairs to get the directions. So I come back down and she’s standing at the SUV, in which there are like 3 guys. Now, the rational Dani said “hmm, this doesn’t look like a good plan,” but of course the dumb lazy Dani said, “just get in the car, it’s cold.” So I did. And we sat there for about half an hour, I’m chit chatting and being personable, and the lady is, I assume, doing who knows what outside the car. So after a while the driver hops in and we take off.

Since I was in the very back of the car and in the middle of a conversation (okay, I was macking with the cute dude and he’s telling me how me and my girls are going to get into the club for free) it took me like a minute and a half to realize that the driver of the car was not the aforementioned lady who offered me a ride, but in fact some completely different dude. This actually came to my attention as the guy I was talking to asked me where my friend went. So I’m like, wait… she offered me a ride and told me to get in the car… and he’s like, okay, she came up to us and asked if she could have a ride because she didn’t know how to get to the Armory, and then she never came back. He’s like, but we’re going to the step show, we’ll still get you there, which might have sounded decent if we weren’t moving in the opposite direction.

Fuuuuuck.

Now the scared Dani is going, “tell them to stop the car and let you out NOW.” The rational Dani is going, “if you kirk out they’re either going to get agitated or put you out on the side of Georgia Avenue somewhere in NE DC in the rainy dark and you don’t know where the hell you are… be cool.” This time I actually did the arguably rational thing and waited until I was at least in a well-lit populated area, which happened to be in SILVER SPRING MARYLAND.

So as soon as I see lights I ask them to please just go ahead and let me out here, and by the grace of God, they oblige, and I only have to wander around for 10 minutes before I finally find the Metro station. I did get a free Dipset mixtape out of the deal, though. It’s piff.

2 Comments

Say sum'n...