own yourself.

By 29 Aug ’11Colored Commentary

People give Oprah a bad rap for a lot of reasons; the main one is probably that she sets herself up as some kind of sage or guru. But honestly, she is a sage. She’s lived a life, as I like to say. She’s learned some lessons. She knows and is comfortable enough with herself to own the fact that she has something to share and has no problem putting it out into The Universe, whether others take it or leave it. And as far as being a guru… there’s nothing esoteric about her philosophy or wisdom. It’s the kind of conclusions that should be common sense, but that are often hard to come to unless you’ve lived through the type of experiences that would take you there, and processed them with a keener eye and more open mind than most.

Anyway, I watched parts of her  “Masterclass” special last night and went to bed with is heavy on my heart.  I’ve watched parts of it before but never from the beginning, and more in passing than to really absorb the message. I ended up literally sitting on the floor and listening in awe. It doesn’t matter that I ended up on the floor from laughing at that bone monster movie on Syfy during a commercial break. I was still awed.

As I drifted into slumber, I thought about where I am in life vs. where I’d like to be, and really questioned why the hell I’m here and not there. For the past 10 years, pretty much since I started making decisions for myself regarding my education and future, I’ve been running from opportunities. I’ve been set up for success so many times, and each time I’ve found a way to weasel away from it, burn a bridge instead of crossing it or otherwise sell myself short. I’ve been settling and self-sabotaging in ways both large and small, and though I’ve recognized it and decided to “work on it,” “working on” anything is rarely ever good enough. The last thought I remember having last night before falling asleep was promising The Universe that the very next time a professional or creative opportunity came my way, I’d go into it full steam, no questions asked, all or nothing.

And today, I got a phone call about a really awesome opportunity that I’d given up hope on entirely. And I’m taking it. And it means making some tough and somewhat scary decisions, but honestly it’s about time I opted not to take the safe route. I’m 26 years old, what the hell am I doing not making rash decisions? I’m tired of having to buy a plane ticket to have an adventure. I want to wake up in the morning and have adventure meet me at my door. I want to feel good — no, great — pouring energy into whatever it is I’m spending 8 hours a day doing. And it ain’t gonna happen unless I make it. So I’m making it!

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